Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Lies We Tell

Whenever my kids have asked, I've always told them immediately that Santa wasn't real. But the rest of the time I've talked like he was. I've also been known to say that Santa stops coming when you no longer believe. This parental experiment has had interesting results; my boys know darn-good-and-well that Santa isn't real, but will fight to the death to insist that he is. 

It's hilarious.

Friday, November 14, 2014

My Hero

The other night we heard a loud clunk noise from somewhere in our apartment. I wasn't worried because recent construction was making everything shifty. I was about to double check when Adam puts his arm out over me to keep me from getting up. I laughed and got up anyway. 

No burglar. 

But I did tell my husband how sweet it was that he was being all brave and trying to protect me. His answer: "Well, what's the point of having a six foot four inch, hundred pound brute around?"

Monday, November 3, 2014

And The Nut Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

I called Z a "total nut-case." A few minutes later he accused me of calling him a peanut-shell. I corrected him, and then he just sat there, staring at me with a grin on his face, until I finally got it. 
Clever, boy.

Friday, October 3, 2014

And the Teacher Won't Know What Hit Her

V came home with the assignment to "write a paragraph about who discovered America." After a lecture about the land bridge between Alaska and Russia, St. Brendan, and the Vikings, we had just gotten to Columbus and who Amerigo Vespucci was when V had to stop me.

"It's supposed to be a paragraph, Mom, not a paper."

My children have a rough academic life.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

V's Epic Art

V's original drawing:
 We call it, "Heart of an Enderman."

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Though, I Should Have Guessed With "Pearlized."

Glitter paint should be CLEARLY labeled. Well, I think that's the end of that birthday present for Adam. He doesn't "do" fabulous.


Adam, while playing video games tonight: "Oh, man, you're smokin' me. Smoking me like a whiney Cuban cigar."

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I'm a Reasonable Adult. Probably.

Having chronic low back pain means occasionally GLARING at things on your floor, because...how DARE it be on the floor! Stupid thing on the floor.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Wardrobe Conundrums

At some point, you'd think I'd just admit the shirt I borrow from Adam every single week is actually MY shirt, and hang it up on my side of the closet.

Friday, September 12, 2014

I'll Be Patting My Own Head Next

Today was one of those days I had to use fancy star stickers to check off my to-do list. Nothing else was motivating me.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Zippy Jr.

Here! A baby snail! Because...why not? It's gotta be the only cute slimy thing I've ever seen.

Monday, August 18, 2014


V and Z were arguing about what game they wanted to play. V said he wanted "to play detective," and (honest-truth) he said it in a BELGIAN ACCENT. I am so winning this parenting game.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

It's the Principle of the Matter.

I donno, I'm just sayin', if you want a healthy cookie, I think you've missed the point of cookies.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Insightful. Creepy, but Insightful.

"Mom, I think I know what an un-birthday is. I think that's the day you die!" -Z

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Bored at Resturant

I call these "Bored at Restaurant." I could probably do a whole exhibit.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Hard Core Editing

I felt a strange pang of parental pride this morning when Z started correcting the spelling of our local graffiti artists. Sniff! That's my boy!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

And They Say You Shouldn't Label Your Kids

I am always calling my boys by each other's names. When they object I always tease them by saying it's their fault because they don't wear labels...

No more excuses.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Nerf Science Project

So, in case I haven't totally bragged it up to everyone I know, V got 2nd place in the science fair for his project to figure out which is the best Nerf bullet for accuracy and distance.


So proud.

And the results? The cheap sucker darts are better for accuracy by far, and it had better consistent distance than either the elite Velcro dart, or the one made specifically to go the furthest distance.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

It's the Biso-taur!

So, thanks to some crazy conversations, I got to enjoy some crazy dream about the North American Minotaur--half man, half bison. Bizarre.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Bad Words

Z: Crap.
V: We don't say that word, it's bad.
Z: It's not a bad word.
V: Well, if you use it inappropriately it turns into a bad word for a few seconds.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Great Card Ideas

The other day the boys were talking about Mother's Day, and Dad told them to get me a card. I told them to trash that idea--"Make me a card. That's so much cooler." Next thing I know, they're talking about the kind of Magic the Gathering Card they're going to design for me.

Yeah. My obsessions. Whatchagonna do?

Thursday, April 24, 2014

My Happy Little Boy

Z got those pro-photos from school today--you know, the ones I never ever buy? He was apparently quite grumpy that day. He crossed his arms, and SCOWLED at the photographer. Never laughed so hard. Might buy these.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Canyonlands, Arches

For the kid's spring break, and with Adam having a few days off, we decided to head out to Aches and Canyonlands down in Southern Utah, inspite of it only being March. Or perhaps because it was only March--that would mean the searing temperatures would be moderated down to something liveable.

We were kinda right. The searing temperatures were moderated. It was not, however, livable. It was so windy we had to spend most of our time in the tent or car, and we had to come home early because the wind was so powerful our tent wouldn't remain standing.

But we got in a few cool hikes and got to see some beautiful things. So it was still very worth it.

 A picture that could never do Canyonlands justice.

 Mesa Arch in the Canyonlands. Adam, Z, V, and Uncle James came along with us.

 Gorgeous sunset (also can't do it justice) we got to see from our very windy campsite at Cowboy Camp.

 I think this is Arches--though it might be Canyonlands. Cold, but still smiling.

This definitely IS Arches. I can tell because it was the only time we were in short sleeves. We went on a 5.5 mile hike that wound up being 8 miles, and V and Z were amazing. They didn't even start complaining until mile seven.

I swear, Camelbaks are fantastic for keeping a kid happy on a hike.

Things I learned this trip:
  • Always, always, always have a blat-bucket handy in case of car-sickness. 
  • Bring a dustpan and small broom anywhere there is lots of sand.
  • I prefer the cream sun-screen--not the spray on.
  • Bean bags are the best camp toy in the world.
  • I must buy a wind-breaker. 
  • It is not a bad idea to have an extra tarp on hand, and a cord to tie  it with. You know, just in case.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Z Moves Out of Special Needs

Got back from Z's SEP meeting...possibly the last one I'll ever have to go to. They've proposed final tests and data collection to officially re-classify him and mainstream the kid. I'm excited. And I really want to say how much I love and appreciate the amazing work the school and his teachers have done for him.

Friday, February 14, 2014


Sometimes you edit with a red pen. Sometimes you edit with a machete, a blow-torch, a dull needle and three yards of knotted twine.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Anno Domini

Me: "Today is February 10th, Anno Domini 2014."
V: "Wha?"
Me: "Anno Domini--it means, in the year of our Lord. You know, because once Christians practically ruled the world."
V: "And then Mormons came along and ruined their day?"

I couldn't answer. I was laughing too hard.

Monday, February 3, 2014

A Little Peace and Quiet

Whenever I need a quiet evening, all I do is tell my boys to go clean their room. It never gets clean, but they leave me alone for HOURS.