Friday, December 7, 2012

He Married the Wrong Girl

Best line from yesterday--Adam: "That's just how I like my women; non-lethal."

Monday, December 3, 2012

The Conspiracy Continues

Z: Mommy, how does Santa get in da house without us hearing? We have no fireplace!
Me: He knocks and I let him in. After all, I have to wrap the presents he brings.
Z: Whaaaaa?
Me: A few years back he decided to cut cost, and so he brings the presents and we wrap them. That's why the wrapping paper is the same.
Z: Ohhhh. Smart.

Smart indeed.

Monday, November 19, 2012


Z: Mom! Mommy! We only have ONE MORE cutie orange!
Me: Yes, I know. Is that a request?
Z: No! That's a PROBLEM!

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Work, Work, Work

I asked V today to help me out my making sandwiches for him and his brother. As we were sitting down to eat his gave me a nice dramatic sigh and said, "I'm such a SLAVE around here. I had to make my own sandwich." I just sat there and stared at him for a while because I had no idea how to respond.

After that I laughed and told him to go scrub the toilet.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Come Home Plane!

Z: A rocket!
Me: Sorry, it's just a plane. Sometimes they leave contrails.
Z: Why?
Me: I don't know.
V: I know why! It's so lost airplanes can find their way home!


I don't know who's happier; Z 'cause "Look! I'm a tiger!", or me 'cause I'm done sewing all those flippin' stripes.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Are Kids Ever Camera Shy?

Z and his hotwheels--we own near a hundred.  V with his loveys. They both insisted I take a picture, because. . . well, it was just so important.

Thursday, October 18, 2012


V made a to-do list today while we were out on a walk.

1) Go real bowling and get a strike
2) See a 12 inch fish.
3) Take a one and a half mile walk
4) Hiowmeasoky [Hayao Miyazaki]  marathon tonight.
5) Play Tic Tac Toe

This kid gets more stuff done than I do.

I Call It, Boys at Park

The boys being oh-so patient while Mommy learns to mo-bo-blog. 'Cause I totally need another reason to feel dependent on my phone.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Evil Geniuses.

V (about creating a level for the game Portal 2): Ha! I think I've invented one that even DAD can't beat.
Me: (evil laugh)
V: What?
Me: If Dad can't beat it, he goes in and changes it.
V: WHAA?!?
Me: You remember that horrific gun-happy maze of death where you dropped us down a thousand feel into pitch black hole and we had to feel our way out?
V: Yes.
Me: Yeah, he added lights.
V: (sighs) I guess I'm gonna have to go look at all my boards again.

I can't decide who's the evil genius, my boy or my husband.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I'm Raising Geeks

Every Halloween, I feel like my home becomes a mini cos-play. V has been; Aang the Avatar, Link from Ocarina of Time, and I just finished sewing up a Dan from Bakugan costume. I'm just SO GLAD he didn't ask to be Vash the Stampede.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

My Family is Ground Zero

Third sickness in under four weeks. Now, I'm no conspiracy theorist, but it occurs to me that evil government agents might be using public schools to expose innocent children to experimental viruses at an insane rate to see how they would do in biological warfare. Jus' sayin'.

Monday, October 8, 2012

A Real Education

V says, "Mom, I have homework AGAIN." 

"Yup. Welcome to life. You'll have more and more, and just you wait until college." 

"Uhhhhgh. I think I'm going to be home-schooled for college."

Sunday, October 7, 2012

A Good Use of Autumn

The boys and I went on a walk today. And then we went a little crazy with a dozen or so leaf rubbings. First time Z ever tried it, I finally had to cut him off or risk running out of paper.

So Skinny He's 2D!

I told V that if he got any skinnier he'd slip through the fabric of our universe and in to another dimension. He called me a liar. I then launched into a lecture, and when I reached the fourth dimension, I said, "And if we ever want to travel to other galaxies personally, we'll have to figure out how to move through space without the normal correlation of time--" "Mommy, how on earth does THAT work?" And you know . . . I had no idea. 

Note to self: brush up on science.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Around and Around They Went

I saw two beautiful birds on my walk today. They were much too busy playing hide 'n seek around the tree trunk to notice me.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

More Than One Graveyard

First night with Adam pulling the graveyard shift. Now taking bets--will I not be able to sleep because I'm thinking of zombies, or because I can't get myself off the internet?

Monday, October 1, 2012

Fall Walk

It's weird, but I always feel slightly honored when I get the chance to actually watch a leaf fall. Yes, I was there for that significant moment in it's life.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Bi-Lingually Confused

Z: Hola!
Me: Hola, como estas?
Z: Uhhh, wha dod THAT mean?
Me: It means, how are you?
Z: How do you say,'great' in Chinese?
Me: I have absolutely no idea. Besides, we were speaking Spanish.
Z: . . . WHAT?!?!

It was the tone that got me; like somehow he had been betrayed.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A Starting Point

Quote of the week--thank you Adam Goff: "Well, you have to start somewhere, and if you can't start by being petty and childish, where can you start?"

Monday, September 24, 2012

Big Graph, Lots of Number--Can I Be Done Now?

V has the math homework assignment from hell. I think he was getting tired, because at the bottom of the page I saw this: "What if the length of 5 more boys' shoes measured 21 centimeters? Describe how the table would look." His answer? "It would look like a big graph with lots and lots of numbers."

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Spelling Tests

I actually enjoy helping my boys prep for a spelling test. I get to make up sentences like; "We'll: we'll have to negotiate for the hostage release;" or "Strike: how dare you strike an un-armed bear!"