Me: The dogs lick you because they're trying to learn about you. They figure things out with their nose and tongue and eyes.
Me: No, I'm serious. And if they like you they lick you because they're just tasting you a little bit.
Me: Sure! I'll bet you taste really good.
V: No, I don't!
Me: How do you know? You've never tasted. Maybe you should lick yourself and see.
V: . . .
Me: Go on. Try it.
V: EWWWW! I think I need a bath.