Monday, July 28, 2008

Conversation with a Toddler--God's Involvement

"But why do we godda have nails? Why do we cut 'em?"
"Well, God gave you fingernails to protect your fingertips, and they're pretty useful."
"God gave me nails?"
"And then Jesus gonna come and cut my nails."
"Uh . . ."
"But he can cut his own nails, because he's bigger."
"Uh . . ."
"Jesus loves me. Right Mommy? And he's gonna come back."
"That's right. And don't you forget it."
"He's gonna come back to cut my nails."

Monday, July 14, 2008

Valor's Portfolio

Come here Val! I have nothing to blog about. Can I take your picture?

Oh, come on! How are you ever going to become a famous model if you don't get used to having your picture taken. Seriously! You're a good looking kid. You just have to work with the camera. Work with the camera boy! Work it! Kay, now smile big.

Right. Okay. We'll work with that. Can you give me a sad look? Give me serious, make me bleed for you.

Well, I think I felt my ulcer acting up. No, wait. That's just indigestion. Hey, how about pleasant? Something with less teeth?

What is that? A come-hither look? Subtle can be good. Can you do thoughtful?

Riiiight. Well, I'll take it to the Big Man.
Hey boss, what do you think?

"I don't know. He could be something. I'll keep his picture around, but don't call us--we'll call you."

. . .

"Security? Make sure I get my toy airplane back before you kick the squinty eyed-bum into the street."