Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Old Pics

I took a picture today because I just had to brag about how cool my stockings turned out.

Cool . . .stockings . . .yeah. I'm cool.

Anyways, I happened to find a ton of old photos I had completely forgotten about. I share some of them with you now.

This here be my Bug. Ain't he cute. We'll get a close up of his mouth in a minute.

There I go, being all cool again. (Close up of his mouth?!? I'm so hip.)

He's way too cute and just getting into trouble each moment. Love him. Love his long arms. Love how they can reach absolutely anything I don't want him to get into. But he's all calm and thoughtful as he does it.

However, his brother . . .

He's the diabolical type.

Together they are the unstoppable duo of keeping-Mommy-fast-on-her-toes.

But not fast enough. I think that was aquamarine. Rats. Ah, well. Crayola is a part of every un-balanced toddler's diet.

I discovered that Val had been at his "art" again. Taking portraits of his favorite subject--his new Lovey.

Aaaaand . . . here's the bottom half.

Ah! But this is what I wanted you all too see. I made them myself, at least of all the top sewing and embroidery. My amazing, wonderful, just-to-die-for Mother (who owns a sewing machine) put them together for me at the very last moment.

I'm just tickled absolutely pink that they turned out not just well, but exactly like I saw them in my head! It gives me a thrill to know I managed that. If I'm not too careful, I'm going to have to start making more things with my hands. I like it when brain-work shows up in reality.

(They are pretty cool. Aren't they?)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Hello Red

So, if you thought that weaning the binki was bad--we lost Lovey. We lost him bad. Poor Val. I tell him he can take only two toys this time, and he wants the plane and Kiki DVD. Why should he worry? Lovely is safely by my desk, and he's never run away before . . .

He was gone. Adam and I have hunted the whole house, and then the unfortunate proposal--he had thrown out two Mountain Dew boxes that day, and Zane likes to cram things in boxes.

"They weren't too heavy. But . . ."

And in that "but" the full horror of our situation hit us.

We both felt so guilty and sad about it (Did we throw away his best friend and comfort?), that we decided to try and replace it if we could. We told Valor honestly what was going on, because no one in the world could mistake a new Lovey for that old misbegotten filthy rag we all came to love. He seemed okay with the idea. New Lovely? No problem.

Except that toy is dang hard to find.

Adam went to three or four places to try his hand, without any luck. Valor went with him last night, and when it became obvious our chances of finding a Lovey were slim, he thought maybe Val could pick out a new toy.

And pick he did.

Stole it right off the shelf, draped it over his shoulders, and jumped way up to snatch its tail when Daddy replaced it on an out-of-reach shelf. He wanted that toy.

And I was warned . . . but I was not prepared.
Hello, Red. . .

"Well, what do you think?"
"That is not a snake. It's an anaconda! Honey!"
"He loves it."
"Issa my snake Mommy!"

That's what I get for reading him The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Just Some News and Pics

Halloween is coming up, and I've already got Bug his costume for this year. He's going as a bat, and I have to admit that I picked it mostly because it wasthe coat he'd have to wear.

See, ain't it cute?

Right. Well. It was a bit of an "off" day for him. I wish I looked that cute when I had on grossly mismatched shoes and no pants. Ah well. Idle (and slightly disturbing) dreams.

Val liked the costume so much, he asked if I could make him a "bat-man!!!" jacket.

After hounding him for an hour to make sure he wouldn't change his mind and then get mad at me for doing what he asked, it was confirmed. He will be going as a bat for Halloween, which means we won't have to shave his head this year.

And this . . .

. . . uh, well this . . .

. . . this means I need to hide my camera better to prevent even more amateur photography from Mr. Loves-attention.

Have a dearly happy Monday!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Conversations with a 4 Yr Old-- Being Nice

"Mommy, I want peanut butter an jelly sandwich."
"I'm making you Macaroni and Cheese. Sorry Sweety."
"Mommy, God wants us to be nice, and I want a peanut butter an jelly sandwich. Be nice."

Monday, August 18, 2008


I turn around for just one second, and the next thing I know, my kids are helping me with the dishes.

Yup. We aren't supposed to discourage them either.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Conversation with a Toddler--God's Involvement

"But why do we godda have nails? Why do we cut 'em?"
"Well, God gave you fingernails to protect your fingertips, and they're pretty useful."
"God gave me nails?"
"And then Jesus gonna come and cut my nails."
"Uh . . ."
"But he can cut his own nails, because he's bigger."
"Uh . . ."
"Jesus loves me. Right Mommy? And he's gonna come back."
"That's right. And don't you forget it."
"He's gonna come back to cut my nails."

Monday, July 14, 2008

Valor's Portfolio

Come here Val! I have nothing to blog about. Can I take your picture?

Oh, come on! How are you ever going to become a famous model if you don't get used to having your picture taken. Seriously! You're a good looking kid. You just have to work with the camera. Work with the camera boy! Work it! Kay, now smile big.

Right. Okay. We'll work with that. Can you give me a sad look? Give me serious, make me bleed for you.

Well, I think I felt my ulcer acting up. No, wait. That's just indigestion. Hey, how about pleasant? Something with less teeth?

What is that? A come-hither look? Subtle can be good. Can you do thoughtful?

Riiiight. Well, I'll take it to the Big Man.
Hey boss, what do you think?

"I don't know. He could be something. I'll keep his picture around, but don't call us--we'll call you."

. . .

"Security? Make sure I get my toy airplane back before you kick the squinty eyed-bum into the street."

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Turtles Are Coming! Quick! Walk!

"Mommy. Mommy. Show done."
"Do you want to watch another one?"
He looked at me with these big beautiful brown eyes. He looked so sad for me. "Donworrymommy."
"There, there are no turdles--there are no turtles after you. You be okay."
I stare at him with blank eyes.
"You be okay. Don't worry Mommy."
Where does this kid come from? Turtles? I put on my most concerned face, "Val, are you sure?"
"Yes Mommy. I look out for you."
I reach out and hug him. "Good. Thank you. I feel so safe."
"Okay Mommy. Okay."

Friday, May 9, 2008

Alcatraze, It Ain't

V loves to play with kids. Loves it. Adores it. Sometimes I wonder if I should send him to day-care, just for social reasons. I am not enough. And Z? Well, Z does well enough in a pinch. V will play with him . . . if he has to.

Z wouldn't mind being left out of the schemes, but he typically can't help being curious enough to wander into the muddle of whatever's-going-on.

My new parenting phenomenon: shared consequences.

So here the two reprobates are, enjoying Corner Time together.

They look repentant, don't they?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Ah, Toddlers.

Valor sat there for a moment staring at the fire-hydrant. His look was intense and his brow was furrowed. Apparently it wasn't enough. He got up and stood over it. He squatted down and got his nose as close as he could without touching it. He sat down again.

He slowly, slowly reached out his hand to barely touch it. He yanked his hand back looking bemused. He touched it again. Then he put both hands on it, and felt it all over.

He sighed, and walked over to me where I was bemusedly watching his performance.

"Mommy, issnot a fire-hydrant."
"Valor, it is a fire-hydrant."
"Issnot! There's no fire!"

Well, there you go!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Dear Grammy

Everything's good back here in the states. Nothing terribly much is going on. But that's life. It is almost spring, which is good. We were hoping it would arrive before May did.

This one is Val. It's probably three days old, but it's the only one where he isn't squinting like a threatened mole.

This one is Bug, current today. Still cute.

And here are the two of them together, just sooze you can tell how big they are getting. Namely big. Especially the one who's supposed to be my baby. Traitor.

Well, I think you miss us if the call for photos is going out. I hope this means next time you'll take us to Scotland with you.

Have fun.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Today I Was a Mother

Bright Eyes

Valor and I discuss options:
"Ahhh, alrigh-t. You pick Mommy, basketball ooooor soccer ball."
"No. Pick bassetball or sock-eeer."
"Mommy, you godda PICK!"
"Nap time."
"No, no. Just lunch."

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Bug Society

Z is now accepting applications to join his Society of Joy.

You must:

Be happy.

And eat naked.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

He's Learning

This is Bug.

Bug has stolen his brother's yogurt bowl, and is carefully experimenting with spoons. He's never actually tried to use spoons before, but he seems to get the basic idea.

But not terrifically well. Poor kid. I wonder when his lazy mother is going to get up and stop this mess from becoming a real problem.

Later maybe, but me and the Bug happen to be dealing with the first bits of a cold. Sniffle. I guess we'll just have to watch TV all day. Rats.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Lovely Defense

In this house, if you want your food then you defend your food.

And Lovey, being one of the gang, knows this...
and knows it well.

P.S. Valor set this up all on his own. He takes care to make sure his Lovey doesn't starve.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Conversation on the Home Front-- Sarcasm

Adam: I don't mean to be a sarcastic twit half as often as you give me a chance to be.

Friday, February 1, 2008


Val can give high-fives. (Zane can too, actually, but he loves the attention so much he gets carried away and we end up with a two person clapping session) He also knows how to do "knuckles" and "fingers" (that where you wiggle all of your fingers-- not wave one. Geez what kind of parent do you think I am?). You know, he's cool. A child from a real Gen-Xer.

I'm trying to teach him to to devils. You know:

But...lets face it-- at 3 coordination is lacking. I'm bad enough, I just like to watch him stare at his fingers with his tongue sticking out wiggling his index. It makes me giggle.

"Come on Val. Devils! You just hold out these two fingers. Yeah, see me two little horns? You make two little horns."

This is what he came up with:

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

This Is Why Picture Posts Are Rare

This is Zane's sandwich. You'll please to note the carefully cut pieces. Sure he can handle a whole sandwich (or two) but there's a reason we do this.

Namely this;

This is Disgusting-Bug. He can cram an entire sandwich into his mouth at once. He can't chew after that, but that's a minor detail. So to squash his enthusiasm we only give it to him a piece at a time.

Then we have to watch like a hawk to make sure that Val doesn't try to give Zane the rest of it. He may be full to the gills with food in both fists, but if we dare touch food on his tray he will SCREAM. Of course it is muffled by the food, but it's still distressing.

Speak of Satan...

Hey Val! Can I take your picture? No. Please? Are you sure? Alright.

Back to Bug.

And he makes more than enough mess with just one piece. Trust me.

If you note the bulging cheeks; it's because his brother was PBJ smuggling.

AHH! Gosh!

What was that? Oh, you don't know either...

I don't mind the stuffing his face to the choking point. Not so much. There's something much worse.

Crap! UFO!

UFSpoon. Sigh. Valor, if you won't let me take a picture of you then will you please stay out of the shots?

Arrrrrrgh, me mommy! I been thinkin' about that-- ya hear!
So now I can take your picture?
Great. Smile big!

Sigh. Close enough.
Now the major problem with Bug's style of consumption...

What are you looking at?

Pay no attention to the rapscallion crawling away. Come on Zane, focus with me: one more close up.

Yeah. The real problem is that he won't chew and swallow. So it sits there in his mouth being slowly digested by copious amounts of drool, and it oozes. YUCK!

I know you can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink; but do you suppose that there might be a way to force a child to chew and swallow?