Wednesday, September 23, 2015

So Realistic

Me: [still bleary eyed] Oh, Adam! I dreamed that we were professional ballroom dancers, and we had to save our evil cheer-leading squad from themselves by preforming our routine on national television.

Adam: How'd we do?

Me: You refused to do it. You thought they deserved to fail. So Captain America offered to be my partner instead, and  he fell in love with me, so you had to go up against Captain America to win my heart back.

Adam: [short pause] He's  a wimp. I could take him.

Me: No, no. Not the actor. The real Captain America.

Adam: I know. He's a wimp. No problem.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Reading Time

The only reason we started reading immediately after school was to record the exact pages read. Because the teachers demanded it. Because that's important. Somehow.

What I didn't understand was that some quiet time right after school was a kind of blessed decompression time. 

Love those unforseen up-sides.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Saturday, August 29, 2015

It Made Sense. Don't Know Why I Bothered To Correct Him.

Z: You know it's really hard to pick up my pencil with my...arm-knees.
Me: Arm...knees? Zane, do you mean your elbows?
Z: Ah. Yes. Good. That.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Dad Didn't Disagree

Me: Zane knows that there's only one cute person in this house, and that's Mom.
Z: No! No, Mom. I'm cute. Valor's handsome. You're beautiful, and Dad's tired.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

My Butler

I asked V to bring me a glass of ice water. He comes out a minute later with my water and this towel over his arm. I laughed and told him, "Thank you. That'll be all, Jeeves."

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

And There Wasn't a Power Outage Or Anything!

My favorite part is how shocked that they are when they discovered playing marbles was fun. Fun? Without a computer? It boggles the mind.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

And If He Was Paying Attention, He Might Get Away With It

I force my children to watch Poirot. 

I'm under no delusions that Z might actually enjoy them--he thinks they're boring (murder is SO 1920's)--but I try to keep him involved. 

Yesterday I paused the show to say, "Okay, so you've met all the characters. Who do you think is going to die? Who would you like to murder?"

Z says in the most perfectly tired voice, "Whoever made this movie."

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

And We Sound Awful

Turning up the music too loud and singing along with my boys. 

What?!? NO! I'm not stupidly excited about summer vacation...but I don't have to get up at an exact time every morning either...

(Alright. I lied. I do get excited about summer vacation.)

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Burned Out

It's getting close to the end of the school year. I can tell.

Z brought me a page of story homework that is nothing but one sentence with the word "very" written close to fifty times (to fill up the page, you see).

...and I let him turn it in

Because, gosh, it's getting really hard to care!

Friday, May 15, 2015

Side Effects

I have a sneaky feeling that some brilliant doctor somewhere worked really hard to make sure the side-effects to my painkillers were just gawdawful. 

"These are gonna make you feel really, REALLY good, so we're just gonna encourage you not to get addicted. Here, have severe nausea."

What jerks.

Monday, March 9, 2015

It Won't Believe We're On the Same Team

I think my body is getting even for years of day-light savings time. It woke me up at 5 this morning. "No! It's MY turn to tell you what time it is!"